How I blew the baby blues away!!!

Guest Blogger Deepa M Kini

What is this depression?

Postpartum depression is fairly common, as I recognized from many of my (mommy) friends. The good news is that there are numerous ways to get over it. Commonly known as the “Baby blues”, this depression stage occurs after delivery of the baby (usually when the hormones are running wild) during the first couple of months. If this depression persists for a longer time, it is always better to consult a doctor.
Reasons:

Lots of factors contributed to cause baby blues in my case:

• Hormones
• Struggle with breast-feeding the baby
• Accusing myself for any problem with the baby
• Unsolicited guidance causing negative thoughts
• Unanticipated events
• Anxiety ... to name a few

Symptoms:

• I used to weep the entire day.
• I had negative thoughts running in my head throughout the day.
• I used to fear that one wrong move by me could hurt my baby.
• I blamed myself if the baby coughed/cried/got sick.
• People's advice made my attitude more negative!

How did I get over it?

I recognized I had a problem when I wept all day. I found a strong support system that helped me...My parents, my husband and my sister. My family boosted my morale with pep talks. They made me watch movies/TV soaps at this time to get my mind off of the blues (while they took care of the baby for me)!!
My mommy friends (experienced and new ones too): I knew these folks personally and luckily for me I had more than 7 friends in this phase at the time. So calling one of them every day was no big deal. It is a great relief to know that you have friends who are in a similar state. Experienced mommy friends are a boon and I am totally owe alot to these friends who were there when I needed them.
My non-mommy friends:  These folks had no clue about motherhood and getting live updates, made me feel so connected to my ecosphere.
Online friends from new mommies world: This was an unexpected surprise. Bless the soul who added me to this group. I'd login every day and noticed that so many mommies voiced my cries out there. Most people who replied were generous with kind words and good advice.
Parenting websites (whattoexpect, babycenter): Getting advice from an expert counts and reading these websites never once disappointed me.
Mommy Bloggers: Though this is a one-way communication, I feel that I know these bloggers from my childhood. The blogger communicates about their anguish/joy/experience and you relate to it, I believe this is enough to spark a friendship. I hugely respect them for their commitment to write despite their busy schedules, which makes another anxious mommy in a sleepy village sigh with relief and sport a smile during this tough depressing phase.
My mother's words comforted me too and aided me through this phase. I will never forget it and I hope readers will appreciate these.

What my Mom said:

• Learn to relax when the baby is asleep.
• You cannot control "everything" about the baby.
• Don’t ever compare your baby (baby’s milestones) with others.
• The only way babies communicate is by crying aloud. Try not to get too irritated/anxious every time the baby cries.
• Babies cry continuously when they have colic. Always ask the doctor for medicines for colic in advance. Do not give medicine unless doctor advises you.
• Babies do not have an immune system in place. They are more prone to sickness than you are.
• Don't wait for good thoughts to come by your way. Speak/think positive things and automatically your will produce good thoughts.
• Do your best for the baby and leave the rest to the almighty.
• Remember that however bad the situation looks now, this time will also pass.

Specific time to bond with yourself/others, pep talks, family, friends, websites, blogs and (not last in importance) your baby’s smile succors you during the toughest times of your life.

Deepa M. Kini is a Bangalore based Tech mom of a 1.5 year old boy. She loves being with different type of people and communicating with people of all ages.