'It was a Miraculous Experience' says Aditi Varma

Ever since I was a kid I always wanted to be a mother. I guess I was blessed with ‘nurturing genes’ that made me ‘mother’ everyone all the time. Everyone around me from my childhood friends to my college classmates believed that I would be a great mother. So it was no surprise that within a couple of years after getting married I was eager to plan a family. It took some time for my husband to settle down and be convinced though, but finally he agreed. The only issue to tackle now was my health situation.

Since the time I hit puberty I suffered from irregular periods and even though I was a skinny child I quickly put on a lot of weight. In spite of my father being a doctor and numerous visits to many gynecologists, the situation hardly improved. Being overweight and having a period problem had become a normal part of my life. What I did not pay heed to was the family history of hypertension, diabetes, thyroid and heart problems. And then, in my 20s, it hit me.

At the age of age of 21 I was diagnosed with hypertension, at age 25 of type 2 diabetes and at age 29, hypothyroidism. I was just a little overweight and even though I didn’t exercise every day, I was active and ate healthy. Still I was riddled with a variety of conditions from a young age and was afraid of them affecting my ability to conceive and deliver a healthy baby. So the moment we decided to have a baby, we first ensured that all my conditions are in control, and my weight is not too high. Once that was in place, the next hurdle was to accept that given my situation it could take months, rather years to conceive.

With that expectation, we began our trial. I started taking prenatal vitamins and we started planning the baby as per my somewhat reliable cycles. Even though I knew this would take time I was hoping against hope it wouldn’t.  And what do you know – I got pregnant in the first month itself! When I missed my period I was initially afraid it was just my body playing games. I used a home UPT which came out negative, but I somehow knew I was pregnant. So a few days later I tried again, more carefully, and the 2 pink lines greeted me with joy! I couldn’t believe my luck!

We immediately confirmed the pregnancy with other tests and once it was sure everything was alright, we heaved a sigh of relief and started the crazy journey. There were enough aches and pains to remind me every waking minute I was pregnant, and morning sickness took a new meaning for me, as 24 hour sickness, until the end of my second trimester! I had no cravings or aversions though, and barring some tiredness or difficulty sleeping I had a breezy, easy pregnancy and enjoyed travel, food, work etc – my daily routine, without any issues.

Of course, unlike other women I couldn’t really eat everything I wanted. I had to cut down on salt, sugar and starch to combat diabetes and high blood pressure which becomes higher in pregnancy. I had to monitor my conditions on a daily basis, and have a multitude of pills, apart from insulin shots thrice a day. I couldn’t afford to laze around and had to walk every day. It being a precious pregnancy even though I wasn’t even 30, I had to take utmost care of myself and be vigilant at every step. It wasn’t easy at all, but it was worth it, for my baby.

I was scheduled to deliver normally, if all things remained under control. Although everything else was fine, by my 8^th month my BP had started to shoot up like crazy. My gynecologist had doubts about going for a vaginal birth and finally in spite of all interventions when the BP did not come down and it started to affect the baby, we planned a C-section for the day I completed 37 weeks. However, destiny had other plans. My baby stopped moving a couple of days before that… the first time that happened we rushed to the doctor who said that was just because of the cord around her neck, and soon she started moving. But when it happened the next time, the movements dint come back and my doctor decided to go for an emergency C-section on a Sunday night. I wasn’t prepared , I didn’t even have my hospital bag. But we went through it all in a jiffy and within no time my lovely daughter was in my arms, for just a few moments, before they whisked her away.

While otherwise she was fine she has low blood sugar, as she had produced a lot of insulin to fight my sugar levels. Also being delivered via C-sec at 36 weeks, her lungs were still wet with fluid and though she could breathe perfectly fine (she creamed like crazy when she was born) she needed some therapy to get things in place. Therefore she was in the NICU for 2 weeks immediately after birth. I was sad but had to accept that my baby won’t come home with me. I lactated after 2 days and then too not much to begin with; given I had no baby to suckle I had to use a breast pump to extract milk. However, in spite of doing everything as directed, my milk supply was never good and soon started to wane. When my baby came home, I tried my best to feed her but she refused to latch on. For the past 2 weeks she had been on bottle feed and no matter what the lactation expert or I did, she refused to feed from me. In the end we had to resort to pumped milk fed through bottle. But soon in spite of pumping my supply dried up and my baby became fully formula fed.

Barring the ICU stay and inability to breastfeed on both our parts, my journey of pregnancy and motherhood has been amazing, a miraculous experience. It’s been a crazy few months now and though a comfortable routine has been established, every day I discover something new about my baby or about motherhood. It’s a roller-coaster ride and not for everyone, but few things are as satisfying as being a mother. And I’m glad I am blessed to be one!