The 'Perfect' Nanny

I'm a member of a Facebook page where moms based in Bangalore share their thoughts. The group also becomes a savior for moms need urgent help or suggestions. Most queries put up on the forum have one word in common 'Nanny'. Whether you're someone who has a young kid or you're planning to have one, an option of keeping a full time nanny must have crossed your mind. Since most parents choose to work now-a-days, if they don't want to send their kids to a daycare, full time nanny is a good option. This is a great option for a SAHM or a mommy working from home. If you have a  elder relative living with you hiring a nanny is like an almost obvious choice. Hiring a full time nanny can be an extremely difficult process, trust me on that... all those mommies who agree with me say 'Yay'.


Since I did a post on daycares, this is similar post on the other option we have - hiring a nanny that is.

• If I talk about the advantages, they will be:
• Nannies are more flexible w.r.t timing and workdays.
• A nanny takes care of 1-3 kids at a time (at max), which isn't the case in a day care.
• You can make the nanny follow a personalized schedule for the child.
• You would not have to look for options if your child is sick.
• If your child doesn't mingle with anyone and everyone then a nanny might work better.

Disadvantages:

• Unstructured environment
• Nannies can be extremely demanding at times
• If the nanny falls sick, one of the parent needs to take a day off or else look for other options.
• How safe is your child when you leave him/her alone with the nanny?
• Limited activities
• Child doesn't interacts with a lot of people.

Before you go on a Nanny Search, decide whether you require a live-in or day nanny (full or half day). Try speaking to your friends about their experience with an agency which can help you in hiring a good nanny. You can either hire someone you trust and have known them for years. Sumita Dutta a mom of a 2 year old did that, she says "The nanny is from my native place and we know their entire family since years. So yes, she is trusted and known to us, but she is not through an agency."  Talking about her nanny hiring experience, Neha Berry Karumanchi, mom of an almost 2 year old says "My mum found the nanny through our neighbor's help. Hence before hiring the nanny we did a proper reference check and verification done."

Make sure you assign specific tasks to the nanny. Sumita shares, that she outlined all the responsibilities with the nanny to avoid confusion. "She does all the stuff associated with Shreya, like preparing her food, feeding her when I am not at home, putting her to sleep, feeding her snacks, accompanying her to park for her play-time and washing her clothes. Besides since she is a live in nanny she helps me in other chores as well."

Some parents have extremely rigid criteria for judging a nanny and high expections from one... Like Celebrity couples Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie said the qualities their nanny must possess is - she should have a degree in education or in child development and she should be able to speak at least two different languages. That is alright if you want a new-age au pair, who goes beyond the 'traditional nanny'.

Keep your parameters simpler, would help you in zeroing down the right nanny. Below are some points which were voted as the main criteria of hiring the right nanny by parents:

• Hygiene tops the list, as parents do not want their child to be around with someone who is not neat and clean.
• "Trusting the nanny is very important if I intend on leaving my baby alone with the nanny" Adds Sumita
• The nanny has to be well-versed in the language spoken at home, if she understands simple English it is considered as an advantage.
• She should be someone who has a prior experience of handling children.

When interviewing the 'prospective candidate' make sure you check:

• How long have you been a nanny for?
• How long did you care for the children in the past?
• Are you educated till which standard?
• Who all are there in your family?
• Where is your native place?
• How many leaves and long breaks would you need in a year?
• If the child falls ill/hurts himself/herself what is the 1st thing you would do?
• Do you have future marriage or relocation plans that would affect your job?
• Do you smoke/drink/chew tobacco?
• Are you willing to do light chores while our baby is sleeping?
• Any health issues we should know of (preferably get a medical check-up done)
• Would you be available to travel with our family for weekends/vacations?
• Can you give reference of your ex-employers and a copy of your ration card.

Make sure you check the nanny on her appearance and overall hygiene.Take the nanny to your baby and see if the baby is comfortable, see how she talks to the child and handles her/him.

So, you made your final decision, hired someone you think everyone likes (you and the baby). What if you chose the wrong person? What if she is not the right nanny for your child? How will you come to know? Below I have mentioned some points which can tell you it is time to go Nanny hunting again if:

• There is a drastic/sudden change in the appearance and behavior of your child: Your child might look unhygienic, untidy, cranky, behaves in an unusual way.
• No bonding between the two: In the beginning it might be alright for the child to be apprehensive but the situation should become better over a week or two. If the situation worsens, then you might have to step in.
• Children start falling sick very often and get injured regularly: It is common for small children to fall sick and hurt themselves, but poor hygiene and not giving adequate attention might lead to children falling sick and getting hurt regularly. 
• Children look tired or start sleeping late (this maybe because of a change in their daily naps)

That was Momsters' take on nannies... Do share your views and suggestions.