The Roller-coaster Ride called Parenting

Yesterday, I read these two articles which made me write this blog post. One says parenting is nothing but stress and pain … the other by a mom blogger totally glamorizes it (wouldn’t want to quote that here). Frankly, when I read the later, I fell in love with it as it said all good things about being a mom… when I read the newspaper article, I was fuming. When I sat back and read the articles again… I realized both the articles are showing a one-sided picture… which isn’t fair. 

Image Courtesy - Northshore Mums

I’m a mom, and have been one for 3 years… which have been blissful yet stressful, fun yet irritating, full of smiles and tears. You have moments when you feel you are on top of the world and then there are those times where you think you’re going crazy. Parenting is both absolutely wonderful and incredibly awful, and this mostly happens moments apart. 

I know people who have loved being a parent and then those who question their decision time and again. So one cannot generalize, parenting is full of ups and downs. I love Z, but I don’t want to have another baby… why? because I don’t want to go through it all over again. Then there are those who decide to have multiples and those who don’t want to have any…

Let’s get the facts right….

Parenting is exhausting; it will drain all energy out of your body. Emotionally and physically you will be exhausted. You really cannot compare this stress with work stress because you can leave your work or get help, but here you cannot leave the baby…. Even if you leave the baby with someone else, you constant think about them. The situation improves when the kids grow up, but you need to go through the grind. And if you’re living alone without any help at hand … God save you. With exhaustion there are moments which make you feel like you’re on top of the world. And moments like these which help you survive and in some cases even enjoy parenthood.

Then comes the society… who puts a lot of pressure on couples to have kids… once you have a kid then they tell you to have another one. Believe me, when I say it that it is your life really. No one will come to help you out when you won’t be able to manage your kids. Make your decision to have child/children after weighing all pros and cons and then (if you really want to) think about the society. I have said it, and will say it again … I truly respect those people who decide they don't want to have kids…. It's their personal choice really. As Parenting is not for everyone... And believe me no amount of self-care strategies will work if you’re not meant to have a baby and you plan to have one. Please do not take a ‘shot’ at motherhood if you aren’t sure.  And if you truly think you are meant to be parents, you will sail through… and you will love every bit and forget about the hardships.

Coming to ‘Mommy Bloggers’, well I have a tiny problem… I’m a blogger, I’m a mom, I mostly blog about parenting … but I don’t want to belong to the ‘Mommy Blogging circuit’... I prefer being a ‘Parenting Blogger’… As I believe some “Mommy Bloggers” do glamorize parenting… and some like the lady who wrote this article in HBL, totally present a sorry picture. Unfortunately none of that is true.  Believe me, there are more stressful things than most ‘Mommy Bloggers’ write about and they claim they are ‘helping’ moms. Postpartum depression, health, pressure, stress is way deep… but if the right steps are taken at the right time it can be handled.

Moms are not losers or creatures to feel sorry for, neither are they some form of a goddess. We learn/unlearn… make mistakes… feel sick and have to prioritize things. We do leave our children in a daycare for jobs, or leave our jobs for kids… We do have a lot of physical and emotional problems… we are as human as anyone else out there. No two moms are alike and no one has the right to keep them on a goddamn pedestal or throw them down in a pit. We have all sorts of emotions and we learn to deal with them. 

Talking about ‘mom-community’… well mums go through so much, they do have terrible mood swings. They are the sweetest most of the times and will help you out genuinely even at 2-3 am. Then they might even b**ch about you sometimes. You also make a lot of genuine mom friends, who are a blessing. Then there are mums who preach and mums who are genuinely concerned.  Moms can also be really judgmental… told you… we are what we are. 

So that is what it is really… parenting is not a bed of roses or thorns… it is a roller-coaster ride.